During this post, I will be discussing some intense feelings around the terrorist incident in Manchester this past May, my response and some general heartache about moving through the world. I invite you to allow yourself to explore your own heartache in this post but please note the beginning is always a bit rocky. Take care of yourself- even if it’s only because a stranger on the internet asked you to…
Also, I discuss a bit about divine feminine and the language around that is a bit weird for me as a non-binary hooman. So if reading “Woman” where I write feminine makes it easier for you to digest go get it.
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Alright, so TW has been set, the pants are off, the neck has been cracked and the typing fingers have been limbered. Full disclosure darling masterpieces, I am not as angry as I was in May when this happened. I honestly could not bring myself to craft words for what this incident sparked in me.
I am going to provide some context on the Manchester terrorist incident that inspired this post and the above painting. Then, I am going to discuss a bit of my feelings on the divine feminine and how the attack relates to its expression. Then I am going to finish off with what this piece of work means to me. Throughout, I am going to be emotional and as authentic as I can be.
So, the terrorist incident occurred this past May at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester. CNBC reports “Some 59 other people were wounded, including some who suffered life-threatening injuries, officials said. “Children were among the 22 people killed in a suicide attack after an Ariana Grande concert at Britain’s Manchester Arena, police confirmed Tuesday. The youngest masterpiece destroyed was a mere 8 years on this planet. …….. If you could say a quick prayer for Miss Saffie Rose Rousso I would be much obliged.
GAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH! Like, flips tables, tears down curtains and throws bookcase across the room is what I wanted to do with all my rage.
My mind attacked and started to analyze… My internal dialogue shifted to: “This was an attack on young women, on joy, on art and on the total amount of creative expression of these things combined. This is why we need feminism. This is an attack on innocence. This is an attack on freedom of expression.” Now, while I don’t think any of that is untrue, I do notice this tendency within myself to attempt to intellectualize the ills of the world away. I notice I have a belief that my mind and wit is the best tool to keep me feeling safe. Now, these are just observations of myself but maybe they are useful to you. So, on and on my mind went, thinking of the how’s and why’s.
Suddenly, a quiet voice asked from within “What are you avoiding feeling right now?”
In an instant, I crumpled into my own heart and cried. The cool tile of the basement floor cradling my knees as I held my face in my hands. I asked for guidance, for help, for anything but all I could hear was my own pulse in my ears and the hot tears on my face. Those are often more than enough guidance so I just kept feeling. Now, these tears, while filled with despair, were not sad. Largely, my emotions were of rage, frustration and that “SO DONE!” feeling we all sometimes get.
So here it is:
I AM SO DONE WITH THE FEMININE BEING TARGETED
I AM SO DONE WITH JOY BEING ATTACKED
I AM SO DONE WITH SENSUALITY AND SEXUALITY BEING VILIFIED
I AM SO DONE WITH NOT HAVING FEMININITY RECOGNIZED AS POWER FROM SOURCE
I AM SO DONE WITH ALL FEMININE BEINGS GETTING DICTATED OR PATRONIZED AGAINST
I AM SO DONE WITH FEMININE BODIES GETTING CONTROLLED OR BEING THE SUBJECT OF POLITICS, COERCION OF MANIPULATION
AND I AM SO SO SO DONE WITH FEMININE PEOPLE, WOMEN AND CHILDREN BEING KILLED FOR LIVING A LIFE AS THEMSELVES
Seriously, FUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF!
You can’t kill the essence of Goddesses. Valkyries, Sirens, Succubi, Enchantresses, Witches, Selkies, Mermaids, Amazons, Princesses, Prostitutes, Geishas, Priestesses, Mothers, Crones, Maidens- whatever word is used the feminine is limitless and untameable. It has stuck around through wayyyy worse. It has endured and survived pillaging, kidnapping, rape, forced marriage, slavery, servitude and just high levels of oppression for THOUSANDS of years.
The feminine is worthy. The feminine is allowed boundaries, safe expression and of space in this world. The feminine deserves respect, admiration and appreciation.
And honestly, if the collective can’t manage that can it just stop senselessly killing/attacking babies?
I know my fire as a woman-y person cannot be tamed, changed or manipulated. I am wrathful just as I am beautiful. Every time I hear a spiritual new ager talk about Awakening the Divine Feminine I think- well best be careful because I can near guarantee she is royally, regally, wrathfully pissed. An energy as powerful as the divine feminine that has been dealing with oppression for thousand of years then getting maliciously attack is going to come out as RAW Mama Kali expression. Like, … brace your multidimensional self for some change and transmutation.
Anyways, after feeling I proceeded to make as per my own tradition. This piece is called “Awoken Glory”. For me, it is that giant “fuck-you” to any kind of oppression, manipulation or otherwise control. It is the honouring if the earthly fire of the feminine that can reforge the old into new. It is the style, elegance and grace of woman in battle. It is the untameable, mischievous lover whose eyes pierce through illusion. It is the dainty flick of a wrist that unleashes a hurricane of destruction for renewal. It is the soft coo the flutters from a mother’s mouth to a babies ears. It is the slow molten and undeniable force of the divine feminine that will never cease.
AND, it is also SOLD!
Got thoughts and feelings? SHARE! I’d love feedback. Check out HERE: http://eepurl.com/cKWpfT to stay in touch.
I am about to drop a wicked cool release that is going to be MORE making so I would really sign the heck up now. 😉